Category: Releasing Emotions

How to get started with journalling

How to begin journalling.

Most of the people around the world who have a calming presence, who seem to be able to tackle the big stuff without faltering, journal.

Your coach, counsellor, friend or therapist may have told you to start journaling.

You see social media articles telling you to journal.

But, you say, how? How do I journal? What do I write?

First of all, let me share with you what I believe journalling is.

Journalling is a process that allows us to get our thoughts on paper, to express the thoughts inside our logical brains which then makes way for feelings to be expressed from our emotional brain. And then, the magical part, our higher wisdom, intuition or higher powers can flow throw onto the paper.

It is a way to receive guidance from ourselves, to ourselves, for ourselves.

So how do you get started as a virgin in journalling? Here’s some ideas to try out

1- Have a glass of water to sip on as you go, for some reason this allows more flow

2 – Start with as little as 5-10 minutes. No phone. Pen and paper and just write.

3 – To prompt the beginning of this, start with a sentences such as

  • Lately, I’ve been thinking alot about…
  • Last night I dreamt that…
  • Parenting is feeling really…
  • Im worried about…
  • I’ve been fantasising alot about…
  • During sex I feel like…
  • I feel the most happy when…
  • This relationship….
  • My family…
  • I’m unsure what to do about…
  • I wish I…

4- Make this a private journal, so that you are not judging what you write. This is between you and your journal. This way you can just flow your truth.

Remember, journaling is not forgiveness letters, or fuck you letters or any specific intentional outcomes. Journalling is a freeflow from your brains, to the paper. To allow space for higher thoughts to flow. Higher ideas to birth.

There is no specific reason when you journal like this.

When the time is right, and with the support you need, you can begin to dive deeper into the inner work. There are other articles around this.

Should you want support or guidance along the way, email or direct message me to discuss coaching packages.

Dear Diary – Here’s why I love you

Journalling. Visualising. Planning. Manifesting. Why do it?

We all hear people talk about journaling our thoughts. Writing after meditation or before we sleep. Having dream diaries. Writing letters that we never send.

Writing to someone as if there really was someone.

Let me share with you a couple of reasons why journaling is one of the first things I would invite you to do when you are experiencing resistance to transition into a different phase of life.

1 – A problem shared is a problem halved. Through expressing all our issues unfiltered, uncensored and without judgement onto piece of paper we feel heard. We have allowed ourselves freedom of truth. And there is no risk of consequence, judgement or reaction. We can now see the mess for what it is.

2 – Once we have allowed the predominant emotion to be expressed, we have allowed room for the more gentle emotions to be expressed. In here is where we start to hear what it is we are really looking for. What it is we are really wanting.

3 – Moving something from your mind, through our hands is one way to get into your heart. Now that we have an idea of what we are looking for we get to begin to answer questions. Such as, what sort of career would make me happy? What sort of characteristics do I desire in a partner? You see, once we have allowed expression of our thoughts we activate our logical brains.

4 – Planning. Now that we have an idea of what it is we desire in life, we can begin to make small habits that move us closer to living that sort of life. Drink an extra glass of water a day. Do 5 minutes of yoga 5 days a week. Buy natural shampoo. We now have the capacity and the calm about us to make the plans.

5 – Continual journaling will continue to remove the gunk and keep us coming back into our hearts. This is what allows us to continue to DO. Which, is manifestation.

Give it a try. Try it for 7 days. Block out 5 minutes a day to begin with. Then slowly find the time to go on a rampage if you have alot of unheard thoughts. Ideally, you will team this up with meditation of some kind in time.

Namaste.

10 Tips To Get Out Of Relationship Limbo

Foreword: For the purpose of this article I will define limbo as being a period of more than 2 weeks in a relationship where you live together, 3 weeks where you do not, and 4 weeks for a long distance relationship.

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Limbo. Relationship limbo. When you are waiting on the other party to decide if there is a relationship or not. Where you are trying to be patient during a time when you are the most impatient you have ever been.  Nothing feels stable in limbo, because, nothing actually is.

In limbo you may have many mistrusts arise. You may have violence, abuse and major disrespect. Or you may simply have hot and cold emotions. Alot of tears, alot of desperation, promises and desire. Break downs, late night messages and the words ‘we are done’ said over and over.

The sex may improve or it may die off. Our bodies are dying to be savaged and screaming to be held and carressed in love. Our energy is low and our thoughts are of failure and unworthiness. Every night spent together, you wonder, ‘is this the last time?’. One minute you are thinking you could never be with another and the next you are fantasising about the person who gave you a sideways glance at the supermarket the other day.

Either way, in relationship limbo we are sitting in holding cell that feels like a prison and screaming for someone or something to let us out. Tell us what to do, where to aim and how to fix this. We make promises to do better and we take on all the blame. I love you. I cant ever love another. Give us what we want. And give it to us now.

The rollercoaster that comes with limbo is excruciating. The sick feelings, the highs, the lows. The made up thoughts. The derailing. The waiting in line. One minute everything seems fine, just like normal. The next, your sobbing in your bed feeling like your chest is about to explode. Your crying weak at the bottom of the shower while your eyes feel like razor blades. Your yelling at the kids. Your wide awake at 3am. Your dry retching at 6am in the morning.

Yes. That feeling. In hindsight, it is a jail cell we put ourselves in because we don’t believe that life can be better without them. We believe we love them and it is meant to be. This is just a pot hole. We believe it is worth waiting for, fighting for. We do not have the self worth, self love or respect we need to pull ourselves up. Our cup is empty.

I kept myself in relationship limbo for around 18 months. The agony. The pain. The heartache.

Lets cover a few of the action steps that are needed to pull yourself up and out. Onwards. Upward.

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Tip number:

  1. You need to know that this feeling will pass. You will get through this. And the sun will rise again. Hope and faith are the most important thing right now. The bridge, it is not an option. Ask for what you need, from God, the air, the ground, another person,  I don’t care. But ask for what you need.
  2. Time does not heal you. YOU do. Invest in books to feed your mind. How fast and  happier you get will be dependent on the way you use your time and energy.
  3. Get your support team together. Support teams consist of a mind, body and soul specialists.
  4. Start opening up to friends. The friends who care act as good sounding boards. The ones who will listen to you cry, and who will bring you a little black dress and red lipstick. The friends who will put your rubbish out and take your kid to school. The friends who will rant with you when you need it but also sleep on the empty pillow beside you. Be vulnerable.
  5. If you are not in a committed relationship, do not live together and do not have sex. Someone who is worth it will commit to you and have no trouble working out what he wants. Ladies, keep your legs closed and men, keep it in your pants. 
  6. There is no such thing as “I need time”, “Im confused”. Translate those into, ‘Just do you!” A person in love does not need more than a couple of weeks to figure themselves out. Cut the contact for a couple of weeks. Do not be available for someone who is not available. Even if you have kids, 2 weeks is nothing compared to living in limbo for endless weeks.
  7. Get the custody sorted from the outset and have it made legal whilst you are both still amicable. If things change, it is very difficult to know what is your heart and what is your pain. And children do not deserve this confusion.
  8. Stop doing the people and the things you do not love so that you can make way for the things you do  like and love. Purge. Remove from your life all of the things you detest and do only out of obligation. Start saying NO.
  9. Journal your thoughts. Notice what recurring thoughts you have and ask yourself what reward you get from these thoughts. Pay attention to your inner mean voice so you can start to retrain those thoughts with your coach.
  10. Sing love songs to yourself. Do the mirror work. Write down the things you love about yourself. Its time you started to like yourself so you can fall in love with yourself.

 

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Definition of limbo: Stuck in limbo is to be unable to move from one position to another. Limbo is originally a theological term (Catholic) that was the holding place between heaven and hell where the soul resided until judgment. … The phrase “stuck in the limbo“means you or someone else is not progressing for some reason or another.

 

Fuck You To The Man Letters

The letters. You know the ones you write but never give to a person.

That’s what I’m talking about. Writing a letter to someone to tell them of all the ways in which they have angered you. The reason why, well, fuck them!

@iam_davecaboz

The letters. You know the ones you write but never give to a person.

That’s what I’m talking about. Writing a letter to someone to tell them of all the ways in which they have angered you. The reason why, well, fuck them!

So how do we move through anger? Hatred? Resentment? We say we are ready to let it go yet our bodies say bullshit and our hands tighten around that rope. We stand at the edge of that bridge and we say ‘Dare me not to jump”. We use the anger to give us power, strength, boundaries. We use it to say, ‘The fuck away from me. Not today arsehole”. We drink and have casual sex treating other people like sacks of meat. We snort drugs to lose our inhibitions. We eat to excess and put our bodies into sugar overload. We use anger to pretend we have it under control.

So what about when we are done with it. When we realise its barricaded us from speaking through love. That we can not be love whilst we are being with anger. Anger is devoid of love. Hatred is devoid of love.

What about when you have chosen to step forward out of the masculinity of anger and inter the femininity of sadness.

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We are ready to write that letter. Bye bye anger, hello sadness.

Well. Let me clarify a couple of things first.

  • 1- You will not get to release it all in one go. Sorry. It will take a few goes. And each time gets easier and quicker.
  • 2- It wont look the way you think it should look. Its not pink guys and there are no fuckn unicorns
  • 3- No one will praise you for it
  • 4- It is going to hurt. How much, and how long is up to how much you surrender
  • 5- You will try to distract, run and hide from the feminine sadness when she shows up.

Express what you like how you like, as gangster or pussy as you like. All your feels . Express them.  No one else should bear witness to this. For a few reasons. Energy released is for the universe to transmute it into love. It is not to be weighed on another empaths shoulders. It is not to be spoken of over and over and swam in. It is to be taken from your mind, through your hands and out of your body. Poof.

Please do not use sex, alcohol, food or anything else after this to make yourself feel better. If you are sharing your energy with anyone else directly after this, that is to make yourself feel better. On top of that, that love was for you to give into yourself. Learn to love yourself first.

Youre letter can be to one person or to multiple people. This is not a letter where you write the things they did well, or justify the things they did. This is a purely fuck you letter. This is to pour out the feelings and thoughts you have that align with anger and hate. Vomit it onto that paper. This is not the time to pretend you don’t have these thoughts.

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So here’s the rules

  1. There are no rules, the universe is in charge here
  2. Do not control anything. It is about surrender and release
  3. Your eyes only
  4. You make like to pray, or set an intention. “God, please allow me full expression and to guide me to the way that best serves me to release anything that is holding me in a low vibration. Please take the negativity and transmute it into love”
  5. Be alone for at least 2 hours, ideally the night.
  6. Put your phone away
  7. Do not fuse with the story. If you get mad, shake it off, step back, drink some water and go again
  8. Start how you like, but ideally use the most common fuck you phrase in your head. eg: I hate you. I despise you. You make my skin crawl.
  9. Keep it moving, we are expressing thoughts and emotions not the story.
  10. Keep it going until you break down in a soft cry that is coming from the softness of your heart
  11. Allow all the feels to come up to the surface in your body, and then allow them to come out through your hands, your eyes, your breath
  12. Whilst in the soft feminine sadness, acknowledge her. Notice that its been some time since you felt her and know that she is a step higher in the vibration ladder to fulfillment. She is your nurture. She came to emotionally hug you and tell you that she will never leave you.
  13. LET HER IN. Sit with her. Let the hot tears come out of your heart.
  14. Ask your higher beliefs to transmute all the negative energy into love

Once you have allowed the feelings to come up and been acknowledged, you can then proceed in the way you usually would. Be it journaling, meditation, swimming, a shower, exercise. Burning sage and palo santo. Dancing or simply sleeping.

Be prepared to feel a little more vulnerable as you have removed some of the barricades around your heart centre. Stay in your heart. She will protect you, if you only listen.

Much love, and for those who do this work, I admire you. xox