Author: Conscious Family Dynamics

I Be. I Am. I journey through life picking up lessons, removing layers and returning more and more into who I truly am every day. Sometimes I’m in the forest slaying my own beasts, and sometimes I’m in flow rejoicing in all this universe has to offer. I’ve experienced many many emotions, feeling stuck, wanting to give up, self disgust, freedom, self love, and I have found my way through it all. I support you whilst together we work towards you becoming more of who you are, and learning to love yourself so that you can become that mum or dad that you dream of being. (or actually anyone, we all affect the kids). Being confident and parenting consciously comes when you are feeling more stable and fulfilled within yourself. You only get this lifetime with this opportunity, once. ​ Through programmes I’ve designed based on my own experiences together we will pin point some of your limiting beliefs, emotional ties and transition them into a new way of being in life. Together we will identify what you can remove from your life to allow more space for joy. We will find ways to set up structure and boundaries in all areas of your life. We will start to discover who you really are underneath it all. What you really dream of. We will show you ways to manifest, create and start to live in the way you fantasise about. And the most exciting part, we will implement conscious parenting into your every day life! And we will do that all through internal respect. It all starts with the self. I show the way as I live my way. Let’s guide you to you.

Fathers Day 2018

Photo by Paweu0142 L. on Pexels.com
Photo by Josh Willink on Pexels.com
Photo by J carter on Pexels.com

How good are we at making sentimental and meaningful days mean something sad and negative for ourselves and those around us.

And for what reason? So that we can express the hurt we have attached to a day that is meant to be for celebrating something amazing.

Fathers day.

“The Father’s Day is celebrated across the world with the objective of realising and honouring the contribution of fathers in the society. It is a day which celebrates the fatherhood, paternal bonds and the efforts of male parents towards their family and society.”

A simple fact. There would be no humans on the planet if not for fathers.

Lets celebrate

  1. Without the male sperm we would not have any children
  2. Any person who has a great influence on your child, had a father
  3. Showing children to look at the good side and find a reason to always celebrate teaches them forgiveness and to express love
  4. If your father, or child’s father even spent 5 minutes in your child’s life, you can celebrate that

Its all perspective. Look for the good in the situation and celebrate the great fathers that surround you. That contribute to our society. That are influencing the children of today’s day to be who they are now. The fathers that came before us. And the fathers that will come after us.

“If the scientific study of fatherhood has taught us one thing, it’s that there are data-driven, biological, and psychological reasons why kids seem to do better with dads.”

The Science of Dad and the ‘Father Effect’

 

Providing A Safe Space To Talk

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
Photo by Snapwire on Pexels.com

How do you know it’s working?

This empathetic conscious confident parenting thing?

Well here’s an example. Last Friday night I wanted to whip out for a couple of hours and leave Addison with a friend. No problem right. Shes 7.

Well when we arrived she got clingy. And then she told me she didn’t want to stay the night and wanted me to come back for her. At like 10pm. Bedtime is 8pm.

So first of all I did the impatient I want to go out, stop this, its silly, non conscious parenting reaction: “don’t be silly you can’t come and its far to late go to sleep and I’ll see you tomorrow!”

Then she shared her feelings through tears. “I feel like you’re kicking me out of the house” (Context behind this, she has a lot going on with not seeing her dad at the moment and him moving out of our family home etc)

Then conscience parenting reaction: “you feel like I’m kicking you out of the house?” (paraphrase), oh my darling they must be scary!’ (Validation)Tears stopped and in a small voice, “Yes mummy can’t you come back for me please?” 

I empathized with her and made a conscious choice based on an informed snapshot of her life that yes, yes I can pick you up and drag your heavy arse home and carry you in the house with one arm trying not to drop you.

So how do we know its working?

  1. It’s working because she felt safe enough to share her fear and feelings with me
  2. Its working because I felt patience and intention to understand her
  3. Its working because we both got what we needed
  4. It’s working because I’m being aware.. Aware that she has these big feelings and I must accommodate for them.. But not at the expense of my boundaries
  5. It’s working because I feel confident that I am connected, aware and intuitively guided to know how to guide her through this transition of her life.

Oh and in hindsight, she spent most that night whimpering in her dreams and she woke with a huge fever. Looks like it pays to listen.

Its working. Trust me. And if its not, reassess what you are doing. xo

 

Love Is An Action Not A Word

Photo by Victor Freitas on Pexels.com
Photo by Nitin Dhumal on Pexels.com

Love? What is love? Love is an action not a word.

  • Love is conscious
  • Love is running through a supermarket for cough medicine and consciously choosing to get flowers too.. Strawberries.. Chocolate. 🌸
  • Love is not self sacrificing and having an expectation of return. It is not a desire to win nor social media photos.. It is unconditional and given freely. 🤗
  • Love is choosing to get what suits that person because you have paid attention to what makes them feel loved
  • Love is doing what you say you will do and doing it with a warm fuzzy feeling
  • Love is intentional actions

I love love. What is love to you?

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Tips To Raise The Cancerian Child

 

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels.com
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

I am an Aries through and through. Fire. All the goods and all the not so goods of all which comes with the fire.

My daughter is a Cancer. Sensitive Water. The crab. The full moon always has her wide awake and shes such a people pleaser.

So the combination?

In a nutshell you will always hear me saying “OMG Addison HURRY UP!!” And Addison’s reply “Don’t rush me. I am busy doing it, can’t you see! You are taking up my time distracting me. Mum! Have some patience”

When she was a baby, I had all the patience in the world. Up until around 3 years of age.

Here’s what I know about the cancer babies. The cancer child. Funnnily enough I have many of my closest gf’s who are either Cancers or have cancer children. Must be my current life lesson huh. Patience. 

Cancer is the zodiacal 4th House of home environment, providing Crabs with a strong attachment to home, especially their mother.  This will persist throughout their life, which can either be seen as a blessing or a curse since severing the umbilical cord may take decades to achieve.

  1. Cancerians are ruled by the moon. The moon affects their mood
  2. Cancer is the Crab. A Crab can live in the water and on the land. 
  3. They are mamas childrens.
  4. They need time to warm up to new people. Never force this on them. Let them guide it.
  5. Family is extra important to the Cancerians who respond best to familiar people and settings
  6. Cancers are homeboides and need structure and staabiltiy inthe home front
  7. Known as the ‘mother’ sign, they are the nurturers. Empathetic, sensitive and affected by the feelings of others. 
  8. Highly intuitive and all knowing. They are always noticing
  9. They tend to bottle up thier emotions and go quiet
  10. They are extremely creative and love to dream, play imaginary games

 

Photo by luizclas on Pexels.com
Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com
Photo by Nandhu Kumar on Pexels.com

So all that aside. How do we better raise these moody sensitive intuitive empathetic sweethearts?

  1. Recognise the moon effects them and give them space. On a full moon expect them to be wide awake in bed and let them do a full moon bath routine. (bath with salts, lavenders, etc)
  2. Take them out to nature, ideally a comination of land and water
  3. Allow your child to see you being stable and getting back after after a rough patch. They need to feel connected to you to feel safe and stable.
  4. As cancerians have a 6th sense with people, allow them this time to establish a connection. Never force it and always honour thier 6th sense. 
  5. Foster wider family connections and ensure your cancerian can spend time with both sides of thier families. 
  6. Allow these crabs to paticipate in the decorating and setting up in thier rooms as soon as possible. Give them safe spaces to be alone
  7. Teach these crabs how to clear other peopes energy off them, to protect themselves from this energy and to fil themselves with thier own energy
  8. Work on your own intuition and empathetic skills, as this is thier number one preferred way of comunicating. Energy
  9. Provide a safe space for them to share thier feelings, using empathetic parenting, and they will speak out more and more
  10. Provide them with plenty of arts and crafts. Teach them how to do intuitive arts to foster the creativity, moon, intuition, imagination and nurture inside of them. 

Above all. Study empathetic parenting and parent consciously. Cancerians main challenge will be in masering all those moon water emotions!

We got this. xo

 

Photo by Oleksandr Pidvalnyi on Pexels.com

Learn From Kids – Surrender

Photo by Aldo Picaso on Pexels.com
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

We have this on repeat today. Addison has come a long way, with no energy and all the sicks, she still smiles, uses her manners, asks for what she wants, expresses her frustration without the drama, says what she isn’t capable of and takes her medicine.

I’m learning from her. She’s showing me what surrender looks like.

She has:

  1. Patience – time isn’t a factor to her right now
  2. Boundaries – she isn’t people pleasing right now
  3. Assertiveness – she is clear that she is not well enough to travel
  4. Kindness – she still will reach over, stroke my arm and say ‘love you’, & try to share
  5. Self responsibility – she is asking for what she needs to keep herself comfortable
  6. Awareness – she is aware she is not well and needs to rest
  7. Vulnerability – she expresses her sadness at being sick with tears but doesn’t dwell
  8. Trust – she knows this will pass and that the medicine I give her is for her wellness

I’m not even hating her being sick. Normally I would resent having to slow down. I’m enjoying being nurturing for her. Putting her first. I’m learning from my 7 year old how to face the struggles of life gracefully.

On a side note: Manifestation in the physical. Because remember this is mind, body and soul.

The body is the last place to manifest so by the time you get sick, this has been emotionally hurting us for some time.

This is a result of the emotional stress she has been enduring. Her whimpers in her sleep are heartbreaking. Kids suffer from family destruction so if your about to step out or step into something that could destroy your kids foundations – get some professional advice on how to least affect the children.

Children Witness It All – Now What?

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com

Kids express emotions differently to us. They cry about silly things because they are unsure how to cry about the deeper things. Sometimes all you can do is give cuddles and be with them. Let them know you got them

If I could change the past? I would have learnt the following much quicker.

  1. Be assertive and do not allow myself to be manipulated and lied to. My intuition knew the whole time. Yup the entire 16 years
  2. I would show my daughter that its unacceptable to be treated with disrespect by not allowing myself to go through it over and over
  3. I would show my daughter that you are allowed requirements, and a man that has more than 1 woman is not acceptable to me
  4. I would protect myself legally and not relie on someone who is dishonest to have our best interests at heart
  5. I would prosecute anyone who bullied me online rather than respond

I can’t go back and change the past. I must accept, and I do, that I did my best.

What I can do now?

  1. Do not let those same words that had me hooked,  continue to infiltrate me
  2. Watch actions over words in everyone
  3. Keep my doors shut to people who don’t fufill my requirements whilst keeping my heart soft
  4. Listen to the inner voice. If its telling me someone or something is off, accept it
  5. Parent consciously. Be that parent you were before all the heartache happened
  6. Be assertive. Have boundaries. Surround myself with people who wish to be better.

Submissiveness in women is huge at the moment and that’s something we can change. All it takes is a willingness to be stronger and an unyielding faith that you can.

And you can I know. Because I’m doing it

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Pexels.com